Checkmate!
by Nocturne Weaver
Summary: Temari, wife to lazy Shikamaru? Bloody hell. Surprisingly, he's happy but Temari is stubborn as ever. So by using his genius, the king slowly but unexpectedly captures the tough queen...I guess your leftover pieces can't hide your emotion anymore, Temari?
1. One

**Checkmate!  
****-**Chapter One-

Hello!

* * *

"Can't-can't you reconsider? P-please??" Temari felt the color draining from her face as the village elders turned to shake their heads at her. She gulped and stammered, "B-but, why me?" 

Gaara sighed and folded his hands. "Sorry, Temari. I did what seemed best, I married a girl from the Leaf. But even so, it doesn't seem they are too convinced. So these superiors here wanted a family member of the Kazekage to also marry someone from the Leaf. They chose you." He crossed his arms together and leaned back in his chair. "But you're lucky Temari. You get to choose who you want to marry."

"LUCKY?!" she shrieked. "How is it LUCKY that I get to choose?! It's not like I KNOW anyone from Konoha!!!"

"Well the superiors refuse to take this any farther; you're gonna marry someone from the Leaf. You decide whether you want to live here or there. You decide if you want a ceremony or not. It's all your choice."

"B-b-b-but...but--"

"What about that guy you always flirt with?" Temari's head snapped in the direction of Kankuro. "That shadow-controlling guy with the ponytail? Nara Shikamaru, I believe?" Kankuro smiled and winked at his sister.

Temari twitched and gave Kankuro the hairy eyeball. "Shikamaru?! What are you, crazy?! That guy is like my opposite!"

"Well somehow, you guys get along well."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do **NOT**."

"Okay, here's some trivia. Who is the ninja you SOMETIMES fight with on a Konoha mission?" Kankuro lifted his hands and moved his two fingers up and down to emphasize the "sometimes".

"..."

"Who is the guy that ALWAYS sees us off when we're heading back home?"

"...He does it because he's usually the leader of the missions! It's his duty!"

"Bull crap. And when he sees us off, who does he talk the most to?" Kankuro pointed his fingers at Temari. "Face it Temari. You know you guys have fun together."

Temari sighed and glared at a nearby superior, who visibly cowered under her gaze. Gaara grabbed his pen and unrolled a scroll of paper. "So, is it Nara Shikamaru? "

"Wait! Why can't it be Kankuro? **I **want to wait till **I **find the **right** guy to marry!" Kankuro scratched his ribs and looked around nervously while Gaara stared at him. Temari relaxed a little, imagining that look of reconsideration on her wonderful, adorable baby brother's face--

"Temari, don't you want the relationship between Suna and Konoha to be strong? Now answer me. NARA OR NOT?" _Damn that evil little eyebrow-less red-headed squirt!! Just wait the next time I lay hands on him--!_

"Alright."

"Sign here. Oh, and Temari? Just make it seem like you both get along. Probably the reason why Konoha isn't convinced about my marriage."

Temari signed the scroll before stomping out of the room, growling curses under her breath. She went up flights of stairs until reaching the very top of the Kazekage building. She made her way to the edge of the balcony and gazed at the beautiful sun setting over her village. _Man...what will Shikamaru think of me once he gets that message?_

"Temari-san?" Temari looked back to see Matsuri approaching her, with a timid smile on her face. "Um, Temari-san?"

"What do you want?"

"I...I heard about your marriage proposal to...to Shikamaru?"

"So what?"

Matsuri cowered. "I...Please be happy. Kankuro told me about...I'm pretty sure your marriage will be fun. I mean, you're tough and funny. Who wouldn't like that?"

Temari scoffed. "Fun. We have fun because we make fun of each other. It's only fun because we're totally different. But if we marry, what do you think life together would be like?"

"But-but it will make memories, right? Unlike that Rei guy you've dated couple years ago..."

Temari sighed, rested her chin on her hand and glared at Matsuri. "Mention Rei again and I'll blow you away." She gazed into the golden horizon. "Making memories? Just more to be sad about."

Matsuri smiled and punched the woman's arm. "Oh, Temari-chan. You are so optimistic. How do you stay so sunny all the time?"

Temari grinned and returned the punch. "I know. I'm so awesome like that."

* * *

**_Three Days Later  
_**  
"Shikamaru, Shikamaru! Nara Shikamaru!!" 

"Mmpfh...What do you want, Mom?" Yoshino (Shikamaru's mom) danced into her son's room, grinning ear to ear and swishing a broom.

"Tsunade-sama has a big surprise for all of us! She said to come right now!" With that, the mom sashayed out of the room, singing happy songs to herself.

_Troublesome_, thought Shikamaru. He rolled out of bed and slowly dressed up. He began walking to the Hokage tower with his parents.

* * *

"WHAT??!!" Shikamaru stared at the scroll as if it were a piece of wet turd hanging on a string. 

"Yeah. I've no idea why the Sand's superiors are requesting another Sand and Leaf marriage. But they chose Temari. And Temari chose you."

Shikamaru just stood there gawking while his mom was ecstatic.

"Oh my goodness! Our little Shikamaru finally has a woman who's in love with him!" Yoshino nudged Anko and giggled. "You know, Shikamaru's NEVER had anything to do with a girl. This is like his first time any girl ever acknowledged him and like, it's a marriage proposal!!"

Shikamaru's dad was just as shocked as Shikamaru. He scratched his head and stared at his son. "I never knew a lazy-ass like you would find a wife," he remarked.

Shikamaru glared at his dad and gestured to his mom. "As expected of my dad, leave it to him to become drunk and marry some crazy woman he always complains about." Yoshino stopped her dance and stared at her husband.

"Shikaku?"

Shikaku's eyes widened. "No...no wait! Yoshino, I can explain!"

"No time for explaining now!!" shouted Yoshino.

"A woman is always tender to the man she loves!" yelped Shikaku. Yoshino paused for a second before backing off.

"Fine, we'll continue at home," she growled. Shikaku tensed up and trembled. Tsunade cleared her throat and looked at Shikamaru with an eyebrow raised.

"Shikamaru, do you accept?" Shikamaru nervously looked back and forth.

_Troublesome_, he thought. "Uh, um...is it fake?" Tsunade slammed her palm on the table.

"YESSSS IT'S FAKE!! THAT'S WHY I CANCELLED ALL OTHER APPOINTMENTS FOR THIS HOUR JUST SO YOU COULD HAVE A NICE PRIVATE TIME DECIDING!!"

"Okay, man! Scary ass woman." Shikamaru stared at the scroll. His head was in turmoil. _Temari, asking me to marry her? Did she actually have a crush on me these past years? What if she thinks I like her back if I say yes? No wait, this is a marriage. Of course she would think I do. Should I say yes or no? She's a hard-ass woman like my mom...hmm...well she's cool. I knew her for a long time. But we're pretty different...what should I say??_

"Gck" said Shikamaru.

"What?"

Shikamaru nodded his head weakly. "I-I accept."

"Sign here."

**

* * *

Hello everyone! I decided to start a ShikaTem fic! ...Yeah. Please review, enjoy, thanks for reading!**


	2. Two

**Checkmate!  
**-Chapter Two-

* * *

Temari was in the hospital, watching her heart monitor and drinking a cup of hot chocolate. For the past week she couldn't stop worrying about what Shikamaru would say; she didn't exactly think he would say yes, but then again, they WERE best friends in a way. Getting herself pissed, she contemplated whether to believe that he would reject her, (which would be a great relief but felt a bit sad at the thought) or accept her (which would be a terrible surprise, but at least she'd found a husband). Temari thought it over and over until deciding that it was a no, then spent the two days in her room sulking for no reason and toughing herself up for rejection. Her initial shock at his (very) unexpected answer was ten times worse than what he felt when accepting. The last thing she remembered was falling. 

And she'd landed herself in this crappy hospital room that smelt of old grandpa, drinking a cup of milky brown shit the hospital thought was hot chocolate, still wondering why her heart was failing to stop. She seriously had no clue on how to react.

The door opened and Temari jumped, spilling some chocolate over her lap. "The hell you want!" she shouted. Gaara poked his head in and glared at his sister. Temari stiffened for a second before grinning and wiping away the chocolate. "Yo. Whatssup, Gaara." Gaara walked in and sat on the bed.

"..."

"Whatcha doin' here?"

"Heard that your lover accepted."

"He's NOT my lover," Temari snarled.

"Why did you ask him to be your husband then?"

"Because, you wouldn't be kind enough to let Kankuro get married instead of me, you said yourself that the superiors just HAD to choose me, and you said I had to choose a guy in the Leaf, and you know that Shikamaru is the only guy I know in Konoha-- OH YEAH! Speaking of MAKING **ME** get married...hmm..._should I, or should I not_?!"

Gaara looked at her strangely. "Should you what?"

"Should I? ...Yes. THISALLYOURFAULTTHISISALLYOURFAULTYOUEVILLITTLEDRIPHOWDAREYOUDOTHISTOMEEEEEE!!!" Temari grabbed her little brother's neck and began jerking him back and forth.

"T-TE-MA-R-RI S-ST-ST-TO-OP-P!!_" _he yelled. "Y-YO-YOU'RE M-ME-ES-SS-SING U-UP MY HA-AI-IR!!"

"MESSING UP YOUR HAIR?! _MESSING UP YOUR HAIR?!_ IS THAT ALL YOU CARE ABOUT, YOUR MESSY HAIR?! FINE, I'LL FIX IT FOR YOU!!!" Temari grabbed her mug of chocolate and dumped the contents onto the Kazekage's head. _Sploosh_! Dead silence. The only sound heard was the dripping of the liquefied crap from Gaara's soaked red strands. Suddenly, a deep growl erupting from deep inside his apple.

"TE...MA...RI..." Temari wasn't a Jounin for nothing! She jumped out of bed, locked her brother in the room, and ran down the hall in the blink of an eye.

"HOPE YOU LOVE YOUR SUGARY SWEET HAIRDO!!" she screamed behind her. She began laughing manically before "Oof!" She crashed into someone. "Oh, I'm so sorry," she said, regaining her posture. She looked up to make eye contact.

"Gaara?!" Temari collapsed to the floor, rapidly crawling backwards while her brother advanced upon her. She hit the wall and looked up at Gaara in terror. He glared down at her with all the fury that he could muster. His "sugary-sweet" hairdo sharply framed his eyes, giving him an even more terrifying look. "G-G-G-G-Gaara!" Temari stuttered. "It-It-It was j-j-just a joke! You know t-th-that!" She pretended to laugh it off.

Gaara bent down to make level eye contact with his sister. Utterly frightening. He growled and Temari squeaked. "C-c-come on little b-brother. You know I love you, right?" She gave him a hopeful smile.

"I'll have that in mind while they're burying you"

"No—no wait! Wait...Gaara! How many times have I told you not to joke like that, huh? You can really scare someone, you idiot! Wait—you're not serious are you-- Gaara! You put that sand away! Gaara, PUT THE SAND AWAY. _**NOW**_."

"Now that's a good little brother." Temari grinned and poked his love scar. Gaara's eye twitched.

Just then, Kankuro came running down the hall, waving a scroll rigorously above his head. The scroll began to unroll. Kankuro tripped on the outstretched paper, tearing it in half. "Oof!" He fell face-first onto his brother's hair and they both fell to the ground.

"Look, Temari, look! Nara sent you a letter!" Kankuro lifted his head and grinned, wet brown streaks smearing and cutting through his make-up. He held up one part of the scroll. Temari immediately snatched it away. She tossed her brothers off the other piece of torn paper and connected the two together.The scroll read:

_I'll be coming to Sunagakure in three days to confirm our...eh. You'll also have three days to explain WHAT THE HELL THIS IS ALL ABOUT._

_You troublesome woman._

_-Shikamaru_

Temari gulped. Her hands began to shiver as she reread the scroll. Shikamaru would be coming in three days. They would have to discuss the topic of marriage. She felt her bottom lip tremble. Then instantly, she felt her fury come back.

Temari turned around to see both her brothers growling and lying tangled on the floor.

"Get the hell off of my BACK, KANKURO!!" complained Gaara.

"Do you THINK I could move when your freakin' ELBOWING my CROTCH!?" snapped Kankuro.

"You don't even HAVE one!!" yelled Gaara.

Both brothers stopped at the sound of cracking knuckles and a feeling of impending doom. They looked up to see Demon Temari glaring down at them with huge eyes, her fan outstretched in her hands and her red sash ominously blowing in the wind.

Gaara stared up at Kankuro. Kankuro stared back down at him. He calmly assessed the situation and then did the only thing possible.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE, RUN GAARA RUN!!!!!!"

"AHHHHHH!!!!!"

Shikamaru, Chouji and Kiba were resting in the shade of the trees. They were halfway to Sunagakure. Suddenly they heard an small explosion in the distance, and then, a teeny tiny poof of sand.

"Man, Chouji, this is so troublesome. I'm really scared of that woman," Shikamaru exclaimed, glancing around.

"Haha, don't be nervous now that you're getting an early wife," said Kiba.

"I'll be there for you!" Chouji said enthusiastically. Shikamaru nodded but didn't smile or yawn or even smirk like he usually did. He didn't even do any of the usual habits he did, like putting his hands behind his head or in his pockets. Chouji and Kiba were both thinking the same thing.

_Wow...Shikamaru must truly be nervous._

**

* * *

Hello! I liked writing this chapter :D it amused me to think that Temari really would pour hot chocolate over Gaara...or Kankuro being so clumsy with a scroll of paper...anyway please review, enjoy! Hope you had a laugh (:**


	3. Three

**Checkmate!  
**-Chapter 3-

**Hello! **Las Vegas was actually really fun! Okay anyway this is the finished chapter :p sorry if I inconvenienced anyone with the cutoff...anyway, on to the story:D

* * *

**List Of Things To Do Before Shikamaru Comes**

1. Beat Gaara and Kankuro into bloody pulp  
2. The Scream  
3. Shower  
4. Eat  
5. Shop  
6. Think of what to say to Shikamaru  
7. Think of what to say to Shikamaru  
8. Cry  
9. Think of what to say to Shikamaru  
10. Hmm...And think of what to say to Shikamaru!

_**BADABOOM**_!!!

Temari plucked up the bloody lumps called Kankuro and Gaara off the floor. She bound them with her IV drip and tossed them in the corner.

"Ordering seafood takeout whenever I ask for Chinese, always cracking those stupid blonde jokes about me, and now forcing me to do this! You really deserve more of what's coming next, don't you!!" she said, her voice growing with every word.

The brothers exchanged terrified looks and began to try scooting back against the wall, to get far as possible from their crazy sister. Reaching out, Temari grabbed two handfuls of different colored hair, one handful from each brother. Kankuro screamed. He certainly knew what she was preparing to do. Even though Temari was already shouting, it was quite rare when she screamed when angry. She didn't have a bad voice either, but in worst-case scenarios like the upcoming, one could say that she was anything from pretty or lady-like.

So Temari leaned in very close to her brothers. Using her handfuls of hair she yanked their heads until their ears were positioned in front of her mouth. She slowly inhaled, held it there for five seconds, before...

Windows shattered and doors were thrown open. Bits of rubble crumbled off the tops of nearby buildings. Throughout the streets, people shrieked and grabbed their ears as if needles flew into them. Throughout the desert, the echo of Temari's demonic scream thundered through the silence.

Panting and red-face, Temari glared at her brothers. She grabbed their collars and shook them back and forth. She kicked Kankuro. Then she kicked Gaara. No response. She checked their eyes. No sign of life. She stood up and smiled.

"List of Things To Do Before Shikamaru Comes: number one, beat into pulp, check! Number two, The Scream, check! Number three, shower!" Temari happily skipped off to take her shower. She ran down the stairs, across the halls, and through the large entrance doors. She sniffed in the deep fruity smell coming from the fruit vendors on the street. She walked past a box of pineapples and jumped. 'Freaky', she thought. 'Those pineapples are shaped just like Shikamaru's head...'

Temari jumped again. Speaking of Shikamaru...**he would be coming in only three days**!! Oh shit! What will she wear, what will she say, what will HE say!! Temari immediately forgot about her shower and began running off towards the nearest kimono shop. She didn't have any money, but as the Kazekage's older sister, (along with a lot of nagging), Temari had special privileges to do whatever she wanted and pay for it later. (Actually Gaara has to pay for her xD)(always)

After a lot of searching, Temari settled on a beautiful raven blue kimono whose material would shine a metallic violet sheen in the light, with a unique design of two silver phoenixes at the bottom. She grabbed the matching obi and spotted another beautiful kimono. This one was emerald green like her eyes and had a design of pink and white water-lilies. Temari eyed it critically before she snatched it too and ran out the door.

* * *

Temari screamed and burst into the kitchen, ripping the calendar from its place on the wall. Yes indeed, three days already passed. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING OOONNN?!??!?!" Temari shrieked again and ran upstairs to her room, slamming the door behind her. 

"Okay, okay, shoot, shoot! Which kimono to wear, which one-- THIS ONE!!" Temari grabbed the green kimono and began stuffing herself into it.

"GAWD, this pisses the hell outta me, why do I gotta suffer like this? Three days then, three days past! They say that time goes by slow when you don't want it to, I say it goes by too fast! F ck time! I hate time! GODDAMNIT, where the HELL is my zipper?! AUGHHH!!" Temari collapsed and sat on the floor. Her lip trembled as she stared around her room. Temari slapped herself.

"Gosh...this isn't like me at all. Putting on make-up, buying expensive kimono, doing my hair, all for a guy? This isn't like me at all." Temari sighed and kicked off her kimono. She stood up and went to her mirror. "Now...breathe in...breathe out. Be real Temari, be real. That's why the guys love you." (Heheh) Temari grinned and began wiping off her make-up. She washed her face and slid into her favorite tight black fighting kimono and tied her waist with her red sash. She only tied the upper section of her hair into one small ponytail. Looking in the mirror, Temari grinned and gave herself the thumbs up.

"Ah! Much better!" Temari smiled and flicked off a feather on her butt. "Time for action!"

* * *

Head up high, Temari marched through the halls of the Kazekage building coolly and with not a care in the world. She was gonna handle this with elegance, grace and perfect composure, hell yeah she would! She will not crack, hell no she wouldn't!

_Okay, so all I have to do is go to Gaara's office, meet Shikamaru, do whatever Gaara tells us._

Temari briskly strode into Gaara's office and looked around officially. Shikamaru wasn't here yet! Neither was Gaara. Temari forced her head up higher. She was gonna handle this with elegance! Grace! Perfect composure! She will not crack! She would find the perfect things to say to every one of Shikamaru's questions! She was gonna play this cool! Yeah!

"Well, here's the...BELOVED...suitor," said a monotone voice. Temari snapped around to glare at her evil little brother.

"For the billionth time, I'M NOT--- Shikamaru?!" Temari felt her body growing stiff and cold.

Gaara smirked and stared straight at Temari. "Well Nara, it appears your fiancée wants to have a...private word with you. I'll be leaving now." Gaara gave his sister an evil smile and walked away. Kankuro followed behind him, giggling madly behind his hands.

Temari felt her face boiling. 'Why, those little pieces of--! Where the hell--! What the--! Goddamnit, that was a perfect revenge. I'll kill them for this later--!! ARGHHHH--'

"Your brother's quite the tease." Temari froze. She heard footsteps and felt a tingling sensation on the side Shikamaru was approaching. Uh oh, was she gonna crack? Oh hell naw, she will not crack! SHE WILL NOT**--** crack.

"You're really troublesome, aren't you?"

Temari snapped her head to Shikamaru. "Huh?"

"Having to ask the same question now for the second time."

"What did you ask?" Immediately upon answering Temari knew that was a huge mistake. His letter.

**"**You got my letter, didn't you? To explain what this is about?**"**

'Quite the genius ain't he. What other reasons in hell would they be in this room if she wouldn't explain!'

"Uh-um...well..."

**Okay everyone! Here's the completed chapter, enjoy!**


	4. Four

**Checkmate!  
**-Chapter 4-

Hey everyone!

* * *

"Psst! Gaara! Did she come out yet?" whispered Kankuro. 

"No, not yet," Gaara whispered back.

"Can you hear what she's saying?"

"What?"

"I said, can you hear what she's say—"

"Speak quieter, you fat oaf—wait! I hear something!"

"What, what??"

"She's saying, 'Ah, well, marriage, haha'..."

"Shouldn't she be in the 'children' part? Or she just has nothing to say?"

Gaara and Kankuro grinned evilly at each other and snickered behind their hands. Gloating and biting his lip, Kankuro crawled over to the closed door and put his ear against it. Then silently, he gestured for Gaara to come. Gaara crawled over and both of the brothers put their heads against the door, listening intently. Inside were Shikamaru and Temari's muffled voices.

"Damn, this is troublesome...and embarrassing..."

"Ah, don't worry 'bout them. One may be the Kazekage and the other a puppet-master, but that doesn't keep them from being fags from time to time..."

"Fags?!" Kankuro gasped. Footsteps began approaching the door. He rose higher from his crouch and pushed up his sleeve, preparing to sock Temari's face in once she got out.

"I'll teach that woman to call me a fag!" he growled.

"Kankuro—"

BOOM! The door flew open, crushing the two brothers into the wall.

"But, no, they're not here!" Temari said cheerfully.

Shikamaru sighed. "Okay...well like you were saying, you wanted to know..."

"How long are you gonna stay in Suna?"_ I want him to leave soon as possible._

"A-rank mission. Like three months."

"THREE MONTHS?! A-rank mission?! What FOR?!"

"Yeah, Hokage-sama considers it an A-rank mission to just stay and talk with someone like you—"

"Now you look here, you! You think I'M hard to stay with? What about a lazyass like you?! I bet Gaara would consider **you** a damn AA plus mission—"

"Troublesome woman!"

"Cloud sucker!"

"...You're so lame..."

"..."

"...Why is there blood coming from the wall?"

"Those happen to be my brothers. Come, where are you staying at? I'll walk you there—"

"Your brothers?!"

"Let's GO."

Shikamaru glanced uncertainly at the colorful mess behind the door before shrugging and walking after Temari.

A white and blue figure splotched in red slowly uncurled from the fetal position, lifted a trembling bloody hand and grabbed the collar of a messy black and purple lump in the wall.

"Kannn-ku-ROOO..."

* * *

Temari and Shikamaru walked in silence. Every step she took, Temari felt her spirit go down. 

_One step, two step, three step, four, 46 footprints in four steps more...so that means my ego went down by 46 times. Damn. Oh shoot, he's looking at me weird. I better say something..._

"Uh...w-where are you staying again...?"

"At this orange-colored hotel."

"Oh, you mean Shikamari Hotel?"_What the heck, that name sounds scary. Shikamaru plus Temari equals Shikamari. AUGH!!_

'What the hell is that woman thinking about?'

_One step, two step, three step, four, 62 footprints in four steps more...

* * *

_Temari and Shikamaru entered the hotel room. Shikamaru set his overstuffed backpack on the floor and opened the window blinds.

"Wow!" Shikamaru exclaimed. "What a pretty view." He pushed open the window and stuck his head outside.

"There's no clouds here."

"Well no duh, it's the freaking desert. It barely rains."

Shikamaru pulled himself back in and jumped onto the bed. He placed his hands behind his head, crossed his legs, and closed his eyes. Temari stared at him, doing nothing.

Shikamaru opened one eye and squinted at Temari. "Well, now that I'm here, show me some good places to eat dinner."

"It's still two 'o' clock."

"I know."

"What are you gonna be doing for 5 hours?"

"Napping."

Temari snickered a little. "You lazyass. I couldn't have tired you out THAT fast."

"Surprisingly, Troublesome, you did."

"What?! Why you little--!"

"Barbecue restaurant. Be here at six. Now scram."

Temari stomped out of the room, muttering comments to herself. Once the door slammed shut, Shikamaru opened both his eyes and smiled, proud of himself. Mission Part One, number one, completed! He actually passed this first mission! Tsunade had assigned some easy yet very difficult missions. "Bond". And she would be checking on him every other day. How dumb. (And troublesome.) And g'damn, as if it would work that way, telling her straight out. She was like a lion, already aggressive at the tiniest sign of suspicion and ferocious at a small approach. If he told her...well.

'Damn, that was hard! She's so troublesome...I wonder if she had any boyfriends?' Shikamaru grinned and rolled over.

'I need a good nap. Who knows what will become of me at dinner.' Shikamaru shuddered, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

'This will be taking some time...'

* * *

**Yay, fourth chapter! Enjoy, please review, ta ta!**


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